Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
