Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
