Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
