From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
