You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
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