I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't think brook has ever known best
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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