She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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