I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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