i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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