All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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