I'm so fucking centered right now
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
