but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
