I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
