Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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