you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
