I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
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I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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