I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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