Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
