Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
