We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
