I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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