dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
PANTIES FOUND
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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