it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize