Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My balls are so social today.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
