I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
