ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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