i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
