you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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