I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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