On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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