Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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