he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
this will be a night to untag.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
