I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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