Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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