i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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