how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
4 words: hood of his car
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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