is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's shark week go big or go home
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
