Sry I called you an 8
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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