1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
