so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
