Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
