You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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