I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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