their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
