He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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