All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
