You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
