I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
