You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize