dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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