We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize