I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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