maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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