Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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