is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
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we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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