You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
