He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
