just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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