yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
