It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
