I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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