She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You've changed since you got that strap on
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
