Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
